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Welcome to this online journal for caregivers to the dying or bereaved—important and challenging work, for sure! My goal is to support you by providing inspirational thoughts, pertinent resources, and suggestions for self-care. With appreciation for all you do!

- Rebecca Hauder

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Discover the Power of Two Questions

Discover the Power of Two Questions

June 1, 2017

"People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for. . ."  ~Harper Lee

As caregiver to his wife with advanced M.S., my client felt isolated, exhausted, and emotionally drained. Furthermore, the relentless demands of caregiving made it difficult for him to stand back, reflect, and gain perspective on the situation. He needed a caregiver for himself! I suggested he try a daily Examen practice, hoping to encourage daily self-awareness and counter his difficult and negative emotions.

Examen is a two-question process taking just five minutes, but with many longer-lasting benefits. And, it's good for anyone, not just caregivers! Credited to St. Ignatius, Examen is a way to reflect on the positive and  negative aspects of each day. It requires setting aside a short period of time in a quiet comfortable spot-ideally at the end of the day. Here are the simple directions:

1) Take several deep breaths to help quiet your body and mind.
2) Ask yourself: For what moment today am I most grateful? Breathe in gratitude as you
remember that moment.
3) Ask yourself: For what moment today am I the least grateful? Consider what made it
so difficult, without passing judgment on yourself or others.
4) Give thanks to God, or a higher power, for all you experienced this day.
5) If you have time, jot down your responses.

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