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Welcome to this online journal for caregivers to the dying or bereaved—important and challenging work, for sure! My goal is to support you by providing inspirational thoughts, pertinent resources, and suggestions for self-care. With appreciation for all you do!

- Rebecca Hauder

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Don't Forget To Say Goodbye

Don't Forget To Say Goodbye

May 16, 2022

If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." ~Paulo Coehlo


Last Saturday I attended a graveside service memorial for two family members. At the service, which had been delayed due to Covid, I recognized Maria who was a caregiver in the nursing home where my family members had lived. I thanked Maria for coming and she replied, “Of course, Ralph and Shirley were like family to me. I needed to be here.”


The simple but beautiful graveside service was a ritual that helped Maria, and the other 65 of us in attendance, say goodbye. A 2020 study, cited in Psychology Today, concludes that “well-rounded endings —those marked by a sense of closure—were associated with positive affect, relatively little regret, and an easier transition to the next life phase.”


Thank you Maria for attending the memorial service and reminding me of the importance of goodbyes, even for professional caregivers. May I suggest you find appropriate goodbye rituals for those to whom you’ve given care—whether it be attending a memorial service, lighting a candle, or writing a letter or poem.


Warm regards,


Rebecca Hauder BSN, M.Ed.



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