“We burnout not because we don’t care, but because we don’t grieve..because we have allowed our hearts to become so filled with loss that we have no room left to care. ~Rachel Remen, MD (Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal) We expect to feel grief when a loved one dies, but when someone we are…
“Happiness is not a matter of intensity, but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony.” ~Thomas Merton When I visited Nova Scotia this fall, I discovered a small hidden beach filled with hundreds of cairns—human made piles of rocks or stones balanced on top of one another in various positions. Whether done as a…
“To live in the hearts we live behind is not to die.” ~Thomas Campbell My friend, Nancy, and I walked on the “greenbelt” along the river today. I asked her to show me the bench the park’s department had recently erected in honor of her son who died a year ago. The bench, holding a…
“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was ‘thank you,’that would suffice.” ~Meister Eckhart Gratitude is an appropriate topic as we approach Thanksgiving in the U.S. And, actually, it’s a relevant topic anytime! Noticing, then acknowledging, the things we appreciate in others, in ourselves, and in our day-to day living is a…
Comparison is the thief of joy. ~Theodore Roosevelt As a caregiver, do you ever compare yourself and your situation to others? Social media, in particular, can make it seem like everyone else has a life better than you. Then envy and resentment creep in, robbing you of living in the moment and appreciating what you…
“Change your mental imagery, and the feelings will take care of themselves.” ~Maxwell Maltz Have you ever taken care of someone whose emotional intensity caused you to feel anxious? Not knowing what to say or do, you might secretly have wished you could escape the situation somehow! Yet, you realized the other person needed you…
“Memories are a key not to the past, but to the future.” ~Corrie ten Boom As I was looking through an old photo album from my college days this morning, I ran across a picture of Joan (name changed) with an “old flame” on the ski slopes of Colorado. I broke into a smile as…
“We often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive…and sometimes taking things too personally.” ~Dalai Lama My dear friend has been flying back and forth to Missouri to help care for her mother who is on hospice care. Each time she goes to see her mother she comes back emotionally wounded because…
“Prayer begins where human capacity ends.” ~Marian Anderson Last month I shared about the importance of keeping some emotional space between yourself and those to whom you provide care. I suggested talking with a trusted friend or counselor if you’re bringing a patient’s problems home with you. This month I’m offering another approach for creating…
A recent post by Washington Post’s advice columnist, Carolyn Hax, grabbed my attention. In her column titled, How to witness suffering, yet avoid emotional burnout, Hax states that “None of us can afford to live and die by others’ suffering, nor are we built for it.” She suggests that while it’s normal to feel sympathy…
