“People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for. . .” ~Harper Lee
As caregiver to his wife with advanced M.S., my client felt isolated, exhausted, and emotionally drained. Furthermore, the relentless demands of caregiving made it difficult for him to stand back, reflect, and gain perspective on the situation. He needed a caregiver for himself! I suggested he try a daily Examen practice, hoping to encourage daily self-awareness and counter his difficult and negative emotions.
Examen is a two-question process taking just five minutes, but with many longer-lasting benefits. And, it’s good for anyone, not just caregivers! Credited to St. Ignatius, Examen is a way to reflect on the positive and negative aspects of each day. It requires setting aside a short period of time in a quiet comfortable spot-ideally at the end of the day. Here are the simple directions:
1) Take several deep breaths to help quiet your body and mind.
2) Ask yourself: For what moment today am I most grateful? Breathe in gratitude as you remember that moment.
3) Ask yourself: For what moment today am I the least grateful? Consider what made it so difficult, without passing judgment on yourself or others.
4) Give thanks to God, or a higher power, for all you experienced this day.
5) If you have time, jot down your responses.