Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything. ~C.S. Lewis
March 11 marked the one-year anniversary of the coronavirus outbreak being declared a pandemic. Since then, one in three Americans has lost a family member or friend to the virus leaving an incredible number of surviving family and friends adjusting to a new and painful reality. My family too has been impacted, having lost a beloved sister-in-law and aunt.
Speaking from personal experience, as well as many years counseling the bereaved, I know we heal and adjust best to a loved one’s death when we find meaningful ways to honor and remember them—continuing a bond, so to speak. Grief and Loss research supports this as well. But, just how do we maintain those bonds?
A number of years ago I read with interest an article on the Houzz website, an online community of interior design and decorating, about ways to honor a departed loved one within our homes. I’ve summarized below the author’s practical and meaningful suggestions, which I hope will be helpful to you.
- Plant a tree, bush or flower in your loved one’s honor.
- Place a sampling of their books in an obvious place for others to enjoy.
- Create a collage of photos to display or hang their portrait on the wall.
- Place a memento from their hometown in an obvious place.
- Display a piece of their special collection or hobby in some way.
- Invite children to draw pictures of their favorite memories and display them.
- Light a remembrance candle on special occasions.
Remember, we don’t leave deceased loved ones behind. Rather, we carry them with us throughout our lives.
Warm regards, Rebecca Hauder, RN, LCPC