“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”
~Brene Brown
Janet’s mother had Alzheimer’s and was eventually placed in a memory care facility. Feeling guilty she could no longer keep her mother at home, Janet visited every day after work, often eating dinner with her. Janet’s husband complained of feeling slighted, to no avail. Their marriage grew strained.
Maria, a home health aide, sometimes visited her client Bob outside of regular work hours to bring him homemade goodies. When Maria went out of town for a week, and another aide showed up at the house, Bob refused her assistance. “I’ll wait until Maria returns,” he said.
Not infrequently caregivers give more than what is healthy for the client or themselves. While being needed can make one feel special and important, “over-caregiving” comes at a cost! Family and friends are neglected, personal needs get overlooked, and an unhealthy dependency develops by the one receiving care. Having boundaries means saying no when we are tired or need a break. Having limits means including others in our caregiving role so we can get away. Boundaries protect the caregiver, client, families, and caregiving team from emotional harm.
Are you having difficulty setting healthy boundaries? What might you do to change that?
Warm regards,
Rebecca Hauder